well first off, i've got to apologize for being such a lame-o, putting up tweet-like posts few days in a row. some may notice heart-wrenching sort of words, some slipped off during times of annoyance, some being pointless like always. for that, i'm sorry. also, being million KMs away from PD town and not being home more than a year now made me go gaga. thus, the crappy posts. truth is, i miss my family. right now, the idea of curling up on my bed with the girls, picking up on the only boy we have, sickens me. i miss my bed at home, terribly. and my parents. and the goons. yes, in that order.
so here i write, hoping that i won't be feeling homesick anymore.


last week i went strolling down the canal, walked past Nesbitt Building, knocked on profs door, hung out with random people, shared international experience, hello-ed random chemists, googled sciency stuff beyond belief, etc etc. all had been random. if you ask me why, i can't really tell. i don't know. these past few weeks has got me into thinking that life has more to offer than just that plain frame view. it probably came from the overwhelming workload i had to delve into, thus the random things i told you i did. taking 6 courses isn't a piece of cake, neither a pea. vast amount of time and sacrifices are the currency for opting a life like this. regret sometimes haunt me, but i keep on holding into what i believe thoroughly. i might not be the prettiest, nor the brightest. it's the strongest i aim for. and for that faith i have, i'm grateful.

i have a story/dilemma i'd like to share. i had an exam last week and the result came out days after. as usual, i did not get what i thought i would. i told myself; my path has always been tough and greasy, why would i expect it to be any different this time? it tortures me, subtly, how others get what they want rather easily, and i have to go through unimaginable things before getting it. sometimes, what i wanted wasn't even close to what these people achieved. the old me used to be very envious for that. i admit. now, i'm recuperating and i dare say that i can see that happening. Alhamdulillah.

so i ponder, when you think that things do not go parallel with you, think again. He might have set a shadowy path beneath you, for which bare eyes can't see. that's why we need light. there's reason why ad-Deen has always been an epitome of light, so they say. there's truth behind it. that nanue always in doubt, always question. always sulk when shit happens. come to think of it, were all those worth it? when the sweetness after will be beyond anything? ugh. i'm gonna stop here cause really, i don't know how to knit this into words.
there's plenty of things i've done in the past that tarnished my reputation. something i'm not, in any way, would want to remember. hopefully those will be the thing of the past, so i pray. hold my hands, for i need someone to hold on to.

i still miss my family, even after i thought i wouldn't after i blab like this. now imma go dive my head into my pillow cause it's that time again. yes.

hello waterworks.

p.s: i think i'm gonna push Buble's views up to a million. i need 400k more. i can do this.
p.s 2: i miss home.
p.s 3: today's thanksgiving. i'm thankful i have all of you

26 Comments:

  1. jyss said...
    the other side is always greener. it kinda suck aye when we see ppl seem to be getting what they want easily.

    but i like to believe the road that i chose (or had to choose) made me who i am - good or bad, i'm thankful.

    err although i might not show it that often :D

    chin up girl. i know u can do it :D
    Nanue said...
    My GOD why did i miss this one???? i only had the chance to read what you had to say eons after you posted it up here. my bad.

    i'm teary. i just, i. i'm speechless. that's what i needed, after so long
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